Here Kitty, Kitty

So, I woke up the other day and decided I had too much free time on my hands, and got a second job.

Right.

No, really.

Last night was my first day, helping out with adoptions at the Waterfront PetCo through the Animal Rescue League, which I've been volunteering at. It's fairly simple, a few hours a few times a week; take the guys out, play a bit, clean their cages, try to whore them out to shoppers. Like 'em young? Old? Long-haired? Short-haired? Chubby? Skinny? Declawed? I'm a kitty pimp, really.

Actually, there is a whole list of reasons we can deny an adoption if we think someone is shady or the cat won't be in a good home. There is certainly an optimum environment that we would like to see the cats go to, and I've heard stories of adoption counselors who are supremely picky about approving adoptions. But here's the deal: Right now, THEY ARE LIVING IN A CAGE. They're not happy there. They don't get the attention or exercise they need. Even the sweetest cats get cranky being stuck in a small metal box, with strange people and animals passing by all day long.

So, it's really a big judgment call. Does everyone care for their pets the way I would? No. But also, do I care for my pets the same way others do? No. I have declawed cats. Growing up, we let our cats outside. One of my cats doesn't have a chip implant. When I was little, I distinctly remember constantly harassing the cat and dog we had; it was endless fun. I've worked on farms with tons of cats living outside fending for themselves, and I've known lots of dogs who were poorly trained, ate everything in sight, or rarely came in the house.

These situations are far from optimal when you think of a house pet. But do I think any one of these animals would have been better off in a cage? No. Not to say that I'll be there giving out cats to any slack-jawed or adopting-on-a-whim twit that crosses my path, but it's a huge judgment call, and...ah, I'm a bit nervous about making it!

Eat More Fiber

Maybe one of these days I'll have time to make a real blog entry. In the meantime, let me share the theory I have developed from this week at work:

People don't eat enough fiber, so they end up using their brains as roughage and flushing them down the john.

It's not elegant, but it works for me right now.

Quote

Something you don't want to hear while walking past the guy examining the office sprinklers:

"Well, what I think happened is that these were recalled a reeeeeaaaally long time ago."

Observations of a Random Nature

- Don't bother staying up really late working on a project when there are only a few workdays left before Christmas.  Even if they tell you that you have a deadline, nobody will actually be working at work.

- Cats with night crazies are entertaining as hell, especially when they try to act all dignified afterward.

- Scraping your leg on your pedal hurts a lot worse when your pant leg has been rolled up and your skin is frozen from the cold air.

- Someone who is nice to you but is mean to the waiter is probably not a nice person.

- There are far too many people in the world who don't know what a pakora is!

- Coffee rocks.

- The bag on your back that has, among other things, a computer (and accessories), two changes of clothes, paperwork, and gym shoes, is not particularly comfortable and does not make it easier to bike up the hill.

- Everyone cancels everything around the holidays, claiming that there is no time.  This is everything from meetings at work to organized recreational activities to pretty much anything else.  This pretty much leaves a lot of people with about two weeks of next to nothing to do.  Who are these people that really have parties to go to every night?

- I love winter, but winter = decreased daylight = almost never getting out to Frick = BOO.  I disapprove!!

Farewell to a Work Computer

For five and a half years now, you've sat by my side, churning and plugging away with me through help files, manuals, customer support sites, and XML research. When I first came here, you were a wonder, and an enigma. The first Pentium IV in our office, you challenged the IT department to greater heights, figuring out how to make our software work on you. After a few weeks, they emerged victorious, and I was able to do something besides read hard copy manuals.

We've been together since then. Through the RoboHelp x4 nightmare, new versions of Office, and even an operating system upgrade to XP. I can't lie, as the years progressed I began to notice how other people were able to build their help more quickly, copy source to and from the network in far less time. But, in general you were trustworthy and crash-free. The only times I've regretted our partnership are when you make The Noise. Your random, phantom fan noise that comes and goes as you see fit. I can hear your voice softly ringing in my ears....

"GGGGGHHHHGHHGHGHKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCCKCCKCK!!!"

But still I stuck with you. I even thought it was cute how you toyed with the IT guys, stopping the noise whenever they came around, and making them think it was the fan on the right no matter how many times I told them it was the fan on the left.

So, I don't know why you are so angry with me today. I didn't request your replacement, I swear. The IT guy came knocking on my cube door, saying another group needed a set of identical machines and you fit the profile, and asking if I would give you up for a new machine. How could I possibly keep you from this higher calling? You've been hand-picked for a greater purpose! (Or maybe to be a lab machine, but that's important too.) I know I've been playing with the new laptop I got last week, but I wasn't planning on replacing you.

So please, don't ruin our last days together. Please.

I beg you. Stop....making....that....infernal...NOISE!!!!!!!