So, Friday afternoon my last final ended, and almost for the first time since I got to LA, I had an extended amount of time where I didn't have to be somewhere, reading something, meeting someone, etc. All the brief times that I've had respite over the last four months, my head has been stuffed full of thinking about all the things I did have to go do. So, this is the first time that I've actually taken a deep breath, and thought about and realized what the hell I've been up to these months.
Holy SHIT, I moved to Los Angeles.
Last night, I was at a going away party for a friend I met through the No on Prop 8 campaign. He landed a job on Capitol Hill in DC--very great for him, very bittersweet for those of us here in LA who will miss him. I was talking to LT about him leaving, and it struck me that this felt very different from all the comings and goings that I've seen in LT's circle of friends, folks beginning to establish their lives coming out of college. In those cases, it's still sad, but it's expected and known. People go into the four years knowing that after they graduate, all bets are off.
It feels like such a different thing when you've been established in a permanent life somewhere. You don't meet people with an eye towards shipping off soon. You live there. It's home. You make strong friendships that become tested by time, joy and sadness. Then suddenly, either someone you know is packing up, or you are. If you're the one staying, it's the shock of cold water when you suddenly learn that a piece of your life is leaving. If you're the one going, it's a mixture of fear, excitement at whatever opportunity you're following, sadness, and....guilt. The self-deprecating side of me wants to say it's egotistical to feel that, but I do know that people miss me and, while happy for me, are sad that I'm so far away. And, when you know that you've made people you care about sad, well...in a way leaving feels like breaking some promise, some trust.
I want all you eastern people in my life to know that I really miss you all. I'm happy in school, and I know I made the right decision. I've met fantastic people out here, and begun making great friends. And I know that modern communication helps make distances seem smaller, and heck, I know that I never even lived in the same city as some of you anyhow. But, I also know, from knowing how much I miss you guys, that no amount of electronic gadgetry can completely erase the distance, or completely replace a breakfast, a toast, or a hug.
Showing posts with label moving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label moving. Show all posts
Monday, December 22, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
State of Affairs
In making this big move to the left coast, I thought I was going to be presented with an interesting shift to this blog--from introspection/commentary to news delivery. I'm doing my darnedest to keep in touch with all the folk back east, but as you can imagine law school keeps one a bit busy, even when not combined with moving across the continent. So, I really started feeling the need to put some basic, bald news up here. That posed a problem on several fronts, 1) I feel like it puts me in danger of feeling less responsible for communicating with people directly, 2) it's not the purpose of this blog, and 3) if I spend all my time trying to communicate daily (weekly, whatever) news, I risk losing the random ruminations on thins, which I really like doing.
A week into law school, though, I am realizing that this won't be an ongoing problem. "Why?" you ask. Well, let's put it this way: as far as straight news goes, while the last couple weeks have been an absolutely thrilling whirlwind of activity and goings on, there really won't be a whole lot to say about endless hours spent in a law school library. It's not exactly gripping reading.
So, for now, I will do what I can to balance the newsy and non-newsy pressures.
For the news, last Tuesday my roommate, SL, and I got all moved into our apartment, which is really very cool. It's pretty big and seems to be very well maintained--the guys did a more thorough job of patching/painting/cleaning than anywhere else I've ever lived. It's also in a much older house than I expected to find in this area. I think it was built in either the 10's or 20's, and as a result has a lot of really neat built-in details and considerations that you don't generally find in your usual house built these days--cupboards built into the walls, decorative edging, etc. The doors that open out onto our little balcony are very distinctly not-modern as well, and the wooden window and door frames are incredibly well preserved.
Unpacking has progressed at a ridiculously slow pace for me. Last week didn't really afford much time, what with trying to get situated, actually moving in, starting classes, etc. Over the weekend I had intended to do much more than did, but in the end after the insanity of my last few weeks at work, driving across the country, etc., I just took a couple days and let my mind vegetate. This coming up weekend is a long weekend, so even if I don't make much progress again through this week, come next weekend I won't have an excuse!
There is also the minor news detail that, oh yeah, I started law school, but my reading assignments call so you'll just have to wait for any real info on that one. Suffice to say, "I started law school."
Two fantastic factoids about where I'm living that I will close with, to satisfy my love for imparting completely un-newsworthy things:
1) I live on the 2nd floor, with entry doors at both the top and bottom of my stairs. At the top of the stairs is a handle sticking out of the wall. If you pull the handle, it actually closes the door at the bottom of the stairs. So, if you come home and have a big armful of groceries or whatever, you don't have to try to juggle everything to close the door. Go upstairs, put the stuff down in the apartment, and pull the handle. (In the interests of full disclosure, I must admit that we can't practically use it--the door at the bottom of the stairs is the main secured entrance to the apartment and it locks by deadbolt, which the handle can't help you with. All the same, I think this handle is the funnest thing ever.)
2) I live in the heart of LA. On a residential street, yes, but still in the middle of a primarily concrete jungle, buildings lined up like sardines, on street parking maxed out on most streets, the middle of one of the biggest cities in the country. Of all the things I expected to encounter in this environment, a rooster certainly was not one of them. And yet. It's far enough away somewhere that it doesn't wake me up, but days when I'm up already I'll hear that unmistakable crow.
A week into law school, though, I am realizing that this won't be an ongoing problem. "Why?" you ask. Well, let's put it this way: as far as straight news goes, while the last couple weeks have been an absolutely thrilling whirlwind of activity and goings on, there really won't be a whole lot to say about endless hours spent in a law school library. It's not exactly gripping reading.
So, for now, I will do what I can to balance the newsy and non-newsy pressures.
For the news, last Tuesday my roommate, SL, and I got all moved into our apartment, which is really very cool. It's pretty big and seems to be very well maintained--the guys did a more thorough job of patching/painting/cleaning than anywhere else I've ever lived. It's also in a much older house than I expected to find in this area. I think it was built in either the 10's or 20's, and as a result has a lot of really neat built-in details and considerations that you don't generally find in your usual house built these days--cupboards built into the walls, decorative edging, etc. The doors that open out onto our little balcony are very distinctly not-modern as well, and the wooden window and door frames are incredibly well preserved.
Unpacking has progressed at a ridiculously slow pace for me. Last week didn't really afford much time, what with trying to get situated, actually moving in, starting classes, etc. Over the weekend I had intended to do much more than did, but in the end after the insanity of my last few weeks at work, driving across the country, etc., I just took a couple days and let my mind vegetate. This coming up weekend is a long weekend, so even if I don't make much progress again through this week, come next weekend I won't have an excuse!
There is also the minor news detail that, oh yeah, I started law school, but my reading assignments call so you'll just have to wait for any real info on that one. Suffice to say, "I started law school."
Two fantastic factoids about where I'm living that I will close with, to satisfy my love for imparting completely un-newsworthy things:
1) I live on the 2nd floor, with entry doors at both the top and bottom of my stairs. At the top of the stairs is a handle sticking out of the wall. If you pull the handle, it actually closes the door at the bottom of the stairs. So, if you come home and have a big armful of groceries or whatever, you don't have to try to juggle everything to close the door. Go upstairs, put the stuff down in the apartment, and pull the handle. (In the interests of full disclosure, I must admit that we can't practically use it--the door at the bottom of the stairs is the main secured entrance to the apartment and it locks by deadbolt, which the handle can't help you with. All the same, I think this handle is the funnest thing ever.)
2) I live in the heart of LA. On a residential street, yes, but still in the middle of a primarily concrete jungle, buildings lined up like sardines, on street parking maxed out on most streets, the middle of one of the biggest cities in the country. Of all the things I expected to encounter in this environment, a rooster certainly was not one of them. And yet. It's far enough away somewhere that it doesn't wake me up, but days when I'm up already I'll hear that unmistakable crow.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Road Bests
I didn't have too much time to write about the actual drive, because I was busy driving, so for posterity's sake here's a small recap. A little list of the "greatests" that I came across on my trip across the country. In order of occurrence (or first occurrence, as the case may be):
Greatest Irritation: Dollar limits on gas station credit card transactions, forcing you to execute two transactions to fill a large tank.
Greatest Religious Sign: On I-74 in Indiana, "Abortion Is Forever. Choose Life." Yeah, because, y'know, that life thing is pretty temporary. Or maybe they're implying that you can always change your mind and whack the kid later... ??
Even Greatest-er Irritation: Gas stations that don't let you use the same card over again for the second transaction, forcing you to use a different one.
Greatest Factoid from NPR: The three most popular flavors of ice cream in Japan are eel, cheese and octopus.
Greatest Radio Annoyance: Coming across the Pina Colada song three times, all within Missouri.
Greatest Roadkill: Coyote
Greatest Moment of Disgust: Realizing that the first hotel room I got in Tulsa had apparently been used as a daytime refuge by employee, friend of an employee, or some other resourceful stranger. Most of the room was OK, but the bedspread had been pulled off of one bed, and most lovely was the pee on the toilet.
Second Greatest Moment of Disgust: Hopping out of the truck to get gas in western Oklahoma and landing in a big wad of chew that had been spit on the ground.
Greatest View of Weather Phenomena: Seeing virga from miles away across the landscape
Greatest Scenery: New Mexico Route 185 heading north from I-40 to Santa Fe.
Greatest Circus Sideshow: Digging Tiki out of the boxspring that she hid in while in Santa Fe.
Greatest Town/Exit Name: To'hajiilee (New Mexico)
Greatest Understatement: Said by woman wearing jeans and a long-sleeved shirt at a rest stop in northern Arizona at 5:00 in the afternoon in August, "It's hot here."
Greatest Shock: Agricultural inspections at the California border. I had no problems, but it was somewhat jarring to have a checkpoint where all cars were stopped and searched (albeit lightly), including the official asking to take a look in the back of my truck. Makes you realize how much we take for granted the concept of free travel within the country.
Greatest Success: Getting the cats across country with little incident or difficulty, scarcely a month after they couldn't even go to the vet's without ending up covered in their own excrement.
Greatest Irritation: Dollar limits on gas station credit card transactions, forcing you to execute two transactions to fill a large tank.
Greatest Religious Sign: On I-74 in Indiana, "Abortion Is Forever. Choose Life." Yeah, because, y'know, that life thing is pretty temporary. Or maybe they're implying that you can always change your mind and whack the kid later... ??
Even Greatest-er Irritation: Gas stations that don't let you use the same card over again for the second transaction, forcing you to use a different one.
Greatest Factoid from NPR: The three most popular flavors of ice cream in Japan are eel, cheese and octopus.
Greatest Radio Annoyance: Coming across the Pina Colada song three times, all within Missouri.
Greatest Roadkill: Coyote
Greatest Moment of Disgust: Realizing that the first hotel room I got in Tulsa had apparently been used as a daytime refuge by employee, friend of an employee, or some other resourceful stranger. Most of the room was OK, but the bedspread had been pulled off of one bed, and most lovely was the pee on the toilet.
Second Greatest Moment of Disgust: Hopping out of the truck to get gas in western Oklahoma and landing in a big wad of chew that had been spit on the ground.
Greatest View of Weather Phenomena: Seeing virga from miles away across the landscape
Greatest Scenery: New Mexico Route 185 heading north from I-40 to Santa Fe.
Greatest Circus Sideshow: Digging Tiki out of the boxspring that she hid in while in Santa Fe.
Greatest Town/Exit Name: To'hajiilee (New Mexico)
Greatest Understatement: Said by woman wearing jeans and a long-sleeved shirt at a rest stop in northern Arizona at 5:00 in the afternoon in August, "It's hot here."
Greatest Shock: Agricultural inspections at the California border. I had no problems, but it was somewhat jarring to have a checkpoint where all cars were stopped and searched (albeit lightly), including the official asking to take a look in the back of my truck. Makes you realize how much we take for granted the concept of free travel within the country.
Greatest Success: Getting the cats across country with little incident or difficulty, scarcely a month after they couldn't even go to the vet's without ending up covered in their own excrement.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Nothing Says "Welcome" Like the DMV
Today was my first full day as a resident of Los Angeles, and most of it was spent at that ambassador that all states have, that official welcome mat laid out to new residents all across the country, the Department of Motor Vehicles.
The first frustration was parking - namely, it was inadequate, the fact that it was inadequate foreshadowed the long wait inside, and the people in the parking lots should have all had their licenses immediately revoked for sheer madness. The second frustration was finally finding parking only to realize that I had left my bag, which had my insurance card and birth certificate, in the rental truck.
You know it's going to be bad when the line just to get a number is about 45 minutes long. All told, six hours of life today was dedicated to securing a California driver's license and motor vehicle registration. Perhaps 45 minutes of it was spent parking and going back to get my bag. About a half hour was spent getting my car tested for emissions. I'll be generous and say maybe 15 minutes of it was spent at actual counters talking to people and having things processed. The other 4 1/2 hours of it was spent waiting. Waiting to get a number. Waiting for my number to be called.
The number one frustration by far was this inane policy that they are only able to process one transaction per trip to the window. Need to do two things (such as license and registration)? Go through all lines twice. I got to the counter, and when told I had to pick which one to do, picked the car registration. Not knowing beforehand that I needed the smog certificate and something called a "car verification," I realized that strictly speaking I would need to go back through TWO more times - once with the required car papers, and again for my license. The woman said, "Well, it's really quick to finish the registration once you have the papers so they can just go ahead and do it."
I came back with smog certificate and car verification in hand (I know...Lancer passed Cali's smog standards...I'm as shocked as you are), ran through the line gauntlet yet again, and once again got slapped with "I can only do one transaction." Fortunately, the woman who I had the first time overheard and told me to just come to her counter when I was done with the license...grazie a dio.
I still have to go back to take the written test for the license. (Apparently when the sign says no tests will be administered after 4:30, that doesn't mean they will be administered up until 4:30.) But everything else is done - photos, plates, fees, inspections, verifications, transactions, numbers, venting. Most importantly, this written test can be done without a number. And it's only one transaction.
The first frustration was parking - namely, it was inadequate, the fact that it was inadequate foreshadowed the long wait inside, and the people in the parking lots should have all had their licenses immediately revoked for sheer madness. The second frustration was finally finding parking only to realize that I had left my bag, which had my insurance card and birth certificate, in the rental truck.
You know it's going to be bad when the line just to get a number is about 45 minutes long. All told, six hours of life today was dedicated to securing a California driver's license and motor vehicle registration. Perhaps 45 minutes of it was spent parking and going back to get my bag. About a half hour was spent getting my car tested for emissions. I'll be generous and say maybe 15 minutes of it was spent at actual counters talking to people and having things processed. The other 4 1/2 hours of it was spent waiting. Waiting to get a number. Waiting for my number to be called.
The number one frustration by far was this inane policy that they are only able to process one transaction per trip to the window. Need to do two things (such as license and registration)? Go through all lines twice. I got to the counter, and when told I had to pick which one to do, picked the car registration. Not knowing beforehand that I needed the smog certificate and something called a "car verification," I realized that strictly speaking I would need to go back through TWO more times - once with the required car papers, and again for my license. The woman said, "Well, it's really quick to finish the registration once you have the papers so they can just go ahead and do it."
I came back with smog certificate and car verification in hand (I know...Lancer passed Cali's smog standards...I'm as shocked as you are), ran through the line gauntlet yet again, and once again got slapped with "I can only do one transaction." Fortunately, the woman who I had the first time overheard and told me to just come to her counter when I was done with the license...grazie a dio.
I still have to go back to take the written test for the license. (Apparently when the sign says no tests will be administered after 4:30, that doesn't mean they will be administered up until 4:30.) But everything else is done - photos, plates, fees, inspections, verifications, transactions, numbers, venting. Most importantly, this written test can be done without a number. And it's only one transaction.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Angeleno
Voila! I have arrived in LA. My last post was from Tuesday night in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Wednesday was a "short" (er) drive from Tulsa to Santa Fe, passing through the rest of Oklahoma, the top of Texas, and the first half or so of New Mexico. About the only good thing I can really say about OK and TX was that the humidity calmed down as I went further west. Oh, and Texas looked like it had really well maintained rest stops, for what it's worth. I ended up not stopping at all in Texas, but when I stopped in Oklahoma for gas, I jumped out of the truck and landed square in a huge wad of chewing tobacco that someone had spit out. Yum...
In Santa Fe, once again sM provided lodging, this time on the other side of the country where he happened to be visiting his girlfriend. What luck! As much as Tulsa was humid and bug-ridden, Santa Fe was absolutely gorgeous! Likewise for the drive through New Mexico to get there. My favorite part was getting off I-40 to take a two-lane road to get up to the Santa Fe area, rather than going all the way to Albequerque and then backtracking up I-25. It really cut right through a lot of the gorgeous scenery that you usually only see from afar on the interstate. I attempted some pictures, but really the beauty is in the whole vista, something a point-and-click digital doesn't have a prayer of capturing.
Then Thursday was the long haul from Santa Fe to LA, with the option to stop in Needles, CA, if need be. By the time Needles came along it was only 6:00, so on the Penske truck went, arriving in Los Angeles around 10:30 or so Pacific time.
I'm happy to say the furkids were troopers the entire ride, with only a small bout of infighting right at the end. I didn't blame them for the last bit--the last day was really long and hard on them, and they were at the end of their little kitty ropes. The temporary apartment my roommate and I are staying in until our actual apartment is ready is a loft-style place, and all the open area has them a little on edge after the stress of the travel, but they're doing OK.
In Santa Fe, once again sM provided lodging, this time on the other side of the country where he happened to be visiting his girlfriend. What luck! As much as Tulsa was humid and bug-ridden, Santa Fe was absolutely gorgeous! Likewise for the drive through New Mexico to get there. My favorite part was getting off I-40 to take a two-lane road to get up to the Santa Fe area, rather than going all the way to Albequerque and then backtracking up I-25. It really cut right through a lot of the gorgeous scenery that you usually only see from afar on the interstate. I attempted some pictures, but really the beauty is in the whole vista, something a point-and-click digital doesn't have a prayer of capturing.
Then Thursday was the long haul from Santa Fe to LA, with the option to stop in Needles, CA, if need be. By the time Needles came along it was only 6:00, so on the Penske truck went, arriving in Los Angeles around 10:30 or so Pacific time.
I'm happy to say the furkids were troopers the entire ride, with only a small bout of infighting right at the end. I didn't blame them for the last bit--the last day was really long and hard on them, and they were at the end of their little kitty ropes. The temporary apartment my roommate and I are staying in until our actual apartment is ready is a loft-style place, and all the open area has them a little on edge after the stress of the travel, but they're doing OK.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Greetings from Tulsa
A quick note on the second day of my drive across the country. Things have gone very well so far--the cats have slept most of the time, and the truck is great. I had braced myself for a long drive in a rotten truck, but it is relatively new, has a CD player, not just a radio (which means the money I spent on a transmitter to plug into my MP3 player was wasted, but oh well). Anyone looking for a long distance move, I highly recommend Penske. I know it's partly dumb luck, but the truck is in great shape, the people were really nice, I got a free upgrade to a car carrier instead of a tow dolly (they didn't have the tow dolly on hand), they didn't charge me for the furniture pads that were in the back of the truck, and they gave me a AAA discount even though I don't have AAA. Word.
States I went through today which I'd never been to were Missouri and Oklahoma, but although I've been to Indiana and Illinois before, nowhere near the path I took through those states today. The highway skirted Indianapolis too much to get any view of the city, but I did go right through St. Louis--frighteningly close to rush hour, but traffic wasn't bad at all. And I snapped some pictures of the Arch! I was very surprised at how hilly Missouri was--I never really thought about it, but I guess I presumed everything west of Columbus was flat. Now that I think about it, I realize Missouri is never talked about as a plains state. Come to think of it, Missouri is never really talked about... Oklahoma, however, has provided some of the flatness I expected.
All in all, I gotta say, not a fan of the middle of America so far, at least not this part. Missouri and Oklahoma thus far have been insanely humid, and with so many bugs that there were times I swore it was drizzling, and the noise I heard was the patter of drops on the roof. Nope, it was the patter of bugs going splat. Yummy.
Besides the bugs, the only hitch so far was a 45- to 60-minute delay on I-70 west of Indianapolis, where we sat on the highway due to a wreck up ahead. If that's the worst thing that happens on this trip, I'll be ecstatic.
States I went through today which I'd never been to were Missouri and Oklahoma, but although I've been to Indiana and Illinois before, nowhere near the path I took through those states today. The highway skirted Indianapolis too much to get any view of the city, but I did go right through St. Louis--frighteningly close to rush hour, but traffic wasn't bad at all. And I snapped some pictures of the Arch! I was very surprised at how hilly Missouri was--I never really thought about it, but I guess I presumed everything west of Columbus was flat. Now that I think about it, I realize Missouri is never talked about as a plains state. Come to think of it, Missouri is never really talked about... Oklahoma, however, has provided some of the flatness I expected.
All in all, I gotta say, not a fan of the middle of America so far, at least not this part. Missouri and Oklahoma thus far have been insanely humid, and with so many bugs that there were times I swore it was drizzling, and the noise I heard was the patter of drops on the roof. Nope, it was the patter of bugs going splat. Yummy.
Besides the bugs, the only hitch so far was a 45- to 60-minute delay on I-70 west of Indianapolis, where we sat on the highway due to a wreck up ahead. If that's the worst thing that happens on this trip, I'll be ecstatic.
Monday, August 11, 2008
No Title Fits This Post
Too often in our lives, the various things we need for happiness and fulfillment don't quite mesh. We're left making choices which, while we feel they are the right ones, have an inevitable element of bittersweetness. We're left trying to balance the things we want need, the things we want need to do, the people we want need to be with. But there's never enough time. There are never enough dinners, coffee walks, breakfasts, movies, evenings spent running errands, or hugs. There never could be; those things could be infinite in supply and there would still not be enough.
The paths we feel a need to follow never have absolutely everything wewant need, and we have the unhappy task of making the best of it.
Even though I'm driving away from this place and these people, I will never leave.
The paths we feel a need to follow never have absolutely everything we
Even though I'm driving away from this place and these people, I will never leave.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Waiting
Cats have an excuse. You can't explain to them, "Here's what's going on, and why, and you guys will be OK no matter what; I'll keep you safe." Well, you can try, but they don't speak quite that much human. All they know is that their whole life disappeared with a flurry of boxes and a big noisy truck.
And they are kinda freaked out.
I, on the other hand, don't have this excuse. I know what's going on--I made it all happen. On purpose. I know vaguely what is coming down the road and why. And most of the time, I'm doing OK with it all. Every now and then, though, all I know is that my whole life disappeared with a flurry of boxes and a big noisy truck.
And I'll admit to being kinda freaked out.
I truly appreciate the kindness of those who are helping me out, especially MT who from day one said I was welcome to stay with her. But I admit I'll be grateful for the end of this week. Pretty much all I have to do these days is sit and wait, and think about how much I'm going to miss Pittsburgh and the life I had built here. Once in a while, Whiskey comes up to me and paws my arm, and looks up at me with an expression that seems to ask, "Where did home go? Why did we leave it?" I know the answer, but when all there is to do is ponder the question, your confidence in the answer is shaken. It's not exactly doubt, it's just being kinda freaked out.
And they are kinda freaked out.
I, on the other hand, don't have this excuse. I know what's going on--I made it all happen. On purpose. I know vaguely what is coming down the road and why. And most of the time, I'm doing OK with it all. Every now and then, though, all I know is that my whole life disappeared with a flurry of boxes and a big noisy truck.
And I'll admit to being kinda freaked out.
I truly appreciate the kindness of those who are helping me out, especially MT who from day one said I was welcome to stay with her. But I admit I'll be grateful for the end of this week. Pretty much all I have to do these days is sit and wait, and think about how much I'm going to miss Pittsburgh and the life I had built here. Once in a while, Whiskey comes up to me and paws my arm, and looks up at me with an expression that seems to ask, "Where did home go? Why did we leave it?" I know the answer, but when all there is to do is ponder the question, your confidence in the answer is shaken. It's not exactly doubt, it's just being kinda freaked out.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Transition, Dependence, Humility, Empowerment
To be quite honest, I don't even know when the last time was that I posted - and at this particular moment I'm too lazy to go look and see what it was.
*the next moment*
OK, we all know I was too anal to not go and look.
So the last time I posted I was just beginning to pack up my apartment. It's almost a week later, and since then I've gotten my apartment all packed up, everything put into storage, the apartment cleaned out, and yesterday I turned in my keys and officially became a roving vagabond. Alright, perhaps that's a bit hyperbolic, but hopefully this will be the closest I'll ever come to being a drifter, so I'm trying to live it up while I can.
There are so many things rolling around in my head that I've thought about posting about...some funny observation, some just plain factual to keep everyone up to speed on where I am (including myself), some deeper observation, and on and on. On any one of these things I could type far longer than any of you could read...heck, I'm accomplishing that with just the meta-commentary.
Today's post is coming from the second of many nights on several different futons, provided by the greatest generosity of my friends MT and sM. This very unique period of transition has put me in a position to be far more dependent on the graciousness of others than perhaps I ever have been before. At least, that I'm cognizant of. People helping me move. People giving me a place to lay my head. People offering advice on a new endeavor, and moving somewhere I know nothing about. People being my constant cheerleaders. People providing 2nd- and 3rd-degree of separation contacts in a far away place. ("You probably won't need this, but just in case you're in a tough spot and need a contact, here's so and so.") People offering amazingly generous gifts that in good conscience I can't accept.
People letting me know I'll be missed.
For a little bit (especially on moving day) I was busy focusing on the people who were failing to come through when I needed them. Look at all these people who are bailing...what does this really say? A few days removed (and blood less boiled), I've had time to reflect on the other side of that coin, and think about these wonderful people who HAVE come through...and what THAT means. I'm realizing, this position of extreme dependence is a humbling and empowering position all at once.
I'll stay away from the cliche that it's humbling to not be able to provide things like your own roof over your head (although it is). Rather, it's humbling to realize there are this many people with this much love for you. Humbling? You ask. Yep.
The rise of a special occasion like this highlights the daily consideration, thought and love that you get from all these people who are now going above and beyond. It makes you take pause, and notice all these people who contribute to the richness of your everyday life, and even when they are not filling such notable favors, all these people without whom your everyday life would not be what it is. Humbling to see the love all around you which helps to hold you up from day to day.
And therein also lies the empowerment. Realizing that you are the person who drew all these wonderful people into your life, that you have the ability to attract them and keep them as friends (because even the ones related to you can choose whether to be your friends). That you made enough of an impression on these people--whether over time or all at once--that they are happy to be part of your life, even through your less gracious moments.
So thank you, friends (related and otherwise). Truly, thank you.
*the next moment*
OK, we all know I was too anal to not go and look.
So the last time I posted I was just beginning to pack up my apartment. It's almost a week later, and since then I've gotten my apartment all packed up, everything put into storage, the apartment cleaned out, and yesterday I turned in my keys and officially became a roving vagabond. Alright, perhaps that's a bit hyperbolic, but hopefully this will be the closest I'll ever come to being a drifter, so I'm trying to live it up while I can.
There are so many things rolling around in my head that I've thought about posting about...some funny observation, some just plain factual to keep everyone up to speed on where I am (including myself), some deeper observation, and on and on. On any one of these things I could type far longer than any of you could read...heck, I'm accomplishing that with just the meta-commentary.
Today's post is coming from the second of many nights on several different futons, provided by the greatest generosity of my friends MT and sM. This very unique period of transition has put me in a position to be far more dependent on the graciousness of others than perhaps I ever have been before. At least, that I'm cognizant of. People helping me move. People giving me a place to lay my head. People offering advice on a new endeavor, and moving somewhere I know nothing about. People being my constant cheerleaders. People providing 2nd- and 3rd-degree of separation contacts in a far away place. ("You probably won't need this, but just in case you're in a tough spot and need a contact, here's so and so.") People offering amazingly generous gifts that in good conscience I can't accept.
People letting me know I'll be missed.
For a little bit (especially on moving day) I was busy focusing on the people who were failing to come through when I needed them. Look at all these people who are bailing...what does this really say? A few days removed (and blood less boiled), I've had time to reflect on the other side of that coin, and think about these wonderful people who HAVE come through...and what THAT means. I'm realizing, this position of extreme dependence is a humbling and empowering position all at once.
I'll stay away from the cliche that it's humbling to not be able to provide things like your own roof over your head (although it is). Rather, it's humbling to realize there are this many people with this much love for you. Humbling? You ask. Yep.
The rise of a special occasion like this highlights the daily consideration, thought and love that you get from all these people who are now going above and beyond. It makes you take pause, and notice all these people who contribute to the richness of your everyday life, and even when they are not filling such notable favors, all these people without whom your everyday life would not be what it is. Humbling to see the love all around you which helps to hold you up from day to day.
And therein also lies the empowerment. Realizing that you are the person who drew all these wonderful people into your life, that you have the ability to attract them and keep them as friends (because even the ones related to you can choose whether to be your friends). That you made enough of an impression on these people--whether over time or all at once--that they are happy to be part of your life, even through your less gracious moments.
So thank you, friends (related and otherwise). Truly, thank you.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Sounds Like a Challenge to Me
Your task (well, OK, my task):
Pack for a 2 1/2 week vacation. You have the following constraints:
Best of luck!
Pack for a 2 1/2 week vacation. You have the following constraints:
- You must have attire, equipment, and other items required for the following tasks and events:
- caring for your pet cats
- time working in an office (I know, I know...just go with it)
- time working at an animal shelter
- apartment hunting
- an out-of-town wedding
- softball game(s)
- staying at an air conditioned house
- staying at a non-air conditioned house
- staying at a hotel
- at least three trips to a bar for various farewell parties
- summer in Pittsburgh
- two moving days
- a four-day drive across the country, with cats
- summer in Los Angeles
- handling administrative tasks related to leaving a job, starting school, and moving with an uncertain forwarding address
- the possibility that it will be more like a month-long vacation with law school classes
- Everything you pack must fit in a small-sized sedan.
- You cannot afford to eat out every meal.
Best of luck!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Chick Peas - They're Neither Chicks, nor Peas. Discuss.
I'm getting the feeling that the next month or so would be a LOT easier if I could just quit my regular job now.
The move to Philly progresses. One big step seems to have been taken care of, in that I've found (hope hope) a good potential roomie. Which has a lot of plusses...personal comfort being the highest on there. Plus not having to figure out what to do with all my stuff, and not feeling completely like I'm a guest in someone else's home.
Wow, I just realized I'm not even writing in complete sentences at this point. Wahoo.
So now all I need is an apartment to move into. Details! Oh yeah, and a new computer. I found out last week that Temple's exam security software only runs on native Windows, and I'll be damned if I'm letting Windows gunk up my Mac. So yippee...off to find the cheapest laptop available that I think will last me three years. Because, y'know, I had an extra few hundred dollars I didn't really want anymore.
Really, I'm not as bitter as I sound. Just scatter-brained!
But hey, queers are getting married in California today!!! *happy dance*
The move to Philly progresses. One big step seems to have been taken care of, in that I've found (hope hope) a good potential roomie. Which has a lot of plusses...personal comfort being the highest on there. Plus not having to figure out what to do with all my stuff, and not feeling completely like I'm a guest in someone else's home.
Wow, I just realized I'm not even writing in complete sentences at this point. Wahoo.
So now all I need is an apartment to move into. Details! Oh yeah, and a new computer. I found out last week that Temple's exam security software only runs on native Windows, and I'll be damned if I'm letting Windows gunk up my Mac. So yippee...off to find the cheapest laptop available that I think will last me three years. Because, y'know, I had an extra few hundred dollars I didn't really want anymore.
Really, I'm not as bitter as I sound. Just scatter-brained!
But hey, queers are getting married in California today!!! *happy dance*
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Surreality
It's weird to look around at what have been the artifacts of your life for several years, and know that they will no longer be. The apartment and the things in it will continue to be part of someone else's life, someone who I will always know and love very well, but no longer mine. If anything, knowing those people so well makes it even weirder. These objects which I once thought would be an integral part of the rest of my life--silly collected items, photos, gadgets, toys, decorations--are relegated to the periphery. They will still be present to me, but now distant and unknown in a certain way.
So in case you couldn't tell, I've moved, and the final packing and stuff-dividing was very strange. Certainly, the things that were hers before we met continue to be hers, but I had also come to know them as part of the setting of my life, which they no longer are. Stranger is the division of the myriad items acquired during the course of three shared years, reminders of happier times and strong emotion. What is more sad, when she wants something and you lose that physical reminder of happy memories, or when she doesn't care about something and you wonder if the meaning was as strong as you thought?
I don't want anyone to get the idea from this post that I am very materialistic, that I'm blown away by the loss of things. Little could be farther from the truth. But I guess for me, the removal of those physical objects represents that final, complete separation. Of course, I also don't want anyone to get the idea that I wish the relationship was still intact. Since we split, the separation was always there, always good, and always undeniable. Now it is just final. And man, when you spent that long assuming your life was following a certain path, the final erasure of that path is weird, no matter how good and necessary it is.
So in case you couldn't tell, I've moved, and the final packing and stuff-dividing was very strange. Certainly, the things that were hers before we met continue to be hers, but I had also come to know them as part of the setting of my life, which they no longer are. Stranger is the division of the myriad items acquired during the course of three shared years, reminders of happier times and strong emotion. What is more sad, when she wants something and you lose that physical reminder of happy memories, or when she doesn't care about something and you wonder if the meaning was as strong as you thought?
I don't want anyone to get the idea from this post that I am very materialistic, that I'm blown away by the loss of things. Little could be farther from the truth. But I guess for me, the removal of those physical objects represents that final, complete separation. Of course, I also don't want anyone to get the idea that I wish the relationship was still intact. Since we split, the separation was always there, always good, and always undeniable. Now it is just final. And man, when you spent that long assuming your life was following a certain path, the final erasure of that path is weird, no matter how good and necessary it is.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
OK to go
(You waited all that time to see the aliens and it was her damn father!)
Oh...um, hi. Today's Tuesday, which was supposed to be moving day, but moving day got moved. So moving day is Thursday. But this time it's definite. The carpet is in, it's not supposed to be hot as balls, and I actually should be able to breathe long enough at work to get the day off. Woot woot.
And, the good Comcast folk are supposed to come on Friday to hook up the cable and internet. Looks like my camping days are almost over. Oh well...I'm getting tired of sleeping on the floor. Wow, I really am on the verge of trying this whole "living on my own" thing again. We'll see how it goes.
And I don't know why I feel compelled to share this, but not only did the carpet guys leave a nicely installed new carpet, but one of them also decided to take a leak in my toilet and not flush. Strange man pee smelling up my bathroom. I know you'll sleep better tonight knowing that.
Oh...um, hi. Today's Tuesday, which was supposed to be moving day, but moving day got moved. So moving day is Thursday. But this time it's definite. The carpet is in, it's not supposed to be hot as balls, and I actually should be able to breathe long enough at work to get the day off. Woot woot.
And, the good Comcast folk are supposed to come on Friday to hook up the cable and internet. Looks like my camping days are almost over. Oh well...I'm getting tired of sleeping on the floor. Wow, I really am on the verge of trying this whole "living on my own" thing again. We'll see how it goes.
And I don't know why I feel compelled to share this, but not only did the carpet guys leave a nicely installed new carpet, but one of them also decided to take a leak in my toilet and not flush. Strange man pee smelling up my bathroom. I know you'll sleep better tonight knowing that.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Camping in
I camped at the new apartment last night--first night there! Camping, you say? Yeah! Think about it...I don't have much there, so it was pretty much indoor camping. Sleeping bag and pillow, a little light and a book (not quite a flashlight and book, but close). No TV or internet. No furniture. Whatever clothes I remembered to stuff in a bag. Limited uninvolved food and beverage options. Bathing with the typical travel shower kit.
Camping!
The only thing that was missing was a fire and s'mores. I thought my neighbors might frown on me starting a fire in the building my first night there. I do love s'mores though....mmmmmm....
But I felt like an asshole staying there while Tiki and Whiskey were at the old place. I felt like I abandoned them a bit.
So, cross your fingers--the carpet is supposed to go in tomorrow (Monday), and it better happen because I'm scheduled to haul some furniture Tuesday.
Camping!
The only thing that was missing was a fire and s'mores. I thought my neighbors might frown on me starting a fire in the building my first night there. I do love s'mores though....mmmmmm....
But I felt like an asshole staying there while Tiki and Whiskey were at the old place. I felt like I abandoned them a bit.
So, cross your fingers--the carpet is supposed to go in tomorrow (Monday), and it better happen because I'm scheduled to haul some furniture Tuesday.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Keys!
Got the keys to my new place today (finally). I let the apartment people have it, and of course true to form felt bad afterwards. Because I'm a sap. But we got things smoothed over, and as an added bonus I found out they're putting new carpet in the living room. Score.
So, having been at the place again, my excitement at moving there is somewhat renewed, but the nerves remain.
And am I the only one who thinks that a vacation day is cheapened when you have to stay at work until 11:00 the night before in order to get far enough ahead that you can take the next day off?
So, having been at the place again, my excitement at moving there is somewhat renewed, but the nerves remain.
And am I the only one who thinks that a vacation day is cheapened when you have to stay at work until 11:00 the night before in order to get far enough ahead that you can take the next day off?
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Lots of weekend
Let's see...
Went to the wedding of an old friend from high school. The wedding was beautiful--she and her new hubby have been together 10 years and are such a great couple. I had been very close to her family in high school, then some bad juju came about and I didn't see them too much. I was a bit surprised that they recognized me; not just the fact that it's been about 12 years, but I also didn't exactly look like this back then. It was really great.
Went to my first Pittsburgh Passion football game. They kicked ass to advance to the semis and I was damn impressed with the play on the field. Very happy that the next round of playoffs will be in town, too. And, went with some new friends--new friends are cool.
I was supposed to pick up the keys to my new apartment today, but the property manager never called me to schedule an appointment and the office is closed on weekends. I was told repeatedly it would still be today even though it's Sunday. They are DAMN lucky I'm flexible with leaving my current apartment. Someone is going to be read the riot act tomorrow if these people don't remove their heads from their rear ends.
Once again one of my sister's kids surprised me when I was feeling a bit down--my oldest niece is visiting her dad and brother in Georgia and gave me a surprise phone call out of nowhere. It was very sweet and made me smile.
Mentally preparing myself to see a new doc on Tuesday. I hate new docs. Very exhausting. Also mentally preparing myself for the new apartment; it's a weird time in that all my closest friends are either out of town or very busy right now. But I guess I need to be able to get in before I can move in.
Went golfing for the first time ever. Well--swung a golf club in earnest for the first time at a range and a pitch and putt. I was only a little nervous at the driving range (if you know me you likely know that backstory and have felt the dent in my jaw). Even managed par on one hole of the pitch and putt. Better lucky than good--it's like goals in hockey: nobody asks how, they only ask how many.
Went to the wedding of an old friend from high school. The wedding was beautiful--she and her new hubby have been together 10 years and are such a great couple. I had been very close to her family in high school, then some bad juju came about and I didn't see them too much. I was a bit surprised that they recognized me; not just the fact that it's been about 12 years, but I also didn't exactly look like this back then. It was really great.
Went to my first Pittsburgh Passion football game. They kicked ass to advance to the semis and I was damn impressed with the play on the field. Very happy that the next round of playoffs will be in town, too. And, went with some new friends--new friends are cool.
I was supposed to pick up the keys to my new apartment today, but the property manager never called me to schedule an appointment and the office is closed on weekends. I was told repeatedly it would still be today even though it's Sunday. They are DAMN lucky I'm flexible with leaving my current apartment. Someone is going to be read the riot act tomorrow if these people don't remove their heads from their rear ends.
Once again one of my sister's kids surprised me when I was feeling a bit down--my oldest niece is visiting her dad and brother in Georgia and gave me a surprise phone call out of nowhere. It was very sweet and made me smile.
Mentally preparing myself to see a new doc on Tuesday. I hate new docs. Very exhausting. Also mentally preparing myself for the new apartment; it's a weird time in that all my closest friends are either out of town or very busy right now. But I guess I need to be able to get in before I can move in.
Went golfing for the first time ever. Well--swung a golf club in earnest for the first time at a range and a pitch and putt. I was only a little nervous at the driving range (if you know me you likely know that backstory and have felt the dent in my jaw). Even managed par on one hole of the pitch and putt. Better lucky than good--it's like goals in hockey: nobody asks how, they only ask how many.
Friday, June 29, 2007
I took a vacation day to go shopping?
Yep. I took a vacation day today, and spent most of my hard won freedom shopping in Robinson. Nope, it's not a ridiculous head start on Christmas, it's moving out. There's something weird about walking into a store, asking, "What do I need?" and answering, "Um...pretty much everything."
Indeed, four months after the breakup that hit everyone else a lot harder than it hit us, this is the second time in five years that I've re-outfitted my entire existence. Well, that's not entirely fair this time around; I do have a fair amount of stuff. Last time, I pretty much had my clothes, $50, and my job...and shortly thereafter a credit card bill. This time is not nearly so start-from-scratch.
But it makes me think--these days, wedding registries and housewarming parties are useless. When two people get hitched, they likely already live together and have their place furnished, or live on their own and have two of everything. What we really need are breakup registries, because THAT's when someone needs to buy everything under the sun. Maybe I'll pitch that idea to Target and Amazon and see what they think.
Indeed, four months after the breakup that hit everyone else a lot harder than it hit us, this is the second time in five years that I've re-outfitted my entire existence. Well, that's not entirely fair this time around; I do have a fair amount of stuff. Last time, I pretty much had my clothes, $50, and my job...and shortly thereafter a credit card bill. This time is not nearly so start-from-scratch.
But it makes me think--these days, wedding registries and housewarming parties are useless. When two people get hitched, they likely already live together and have their place furnished, or live on their own and have two of everything. What we really need are breakup registries, because THAT's when someone needs to buy everything under the sun. Maybe I'll pitch that idea to Target and Amazon and see what they think.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Bring on the elements
I'm moving in two weeks to Regent Square, and have set myself the goal of barely using my car unless I really really really really really have to. I'll be about two miles from work, and between the Square, Point Breeze and Squirrel Hill, I'll be near all kinds of stores, restaurants etc., not to mention I'll have Frick and Schenley to go play in. I am excited to maintain as much of a car-free existence as possible--I've wanted this for YEARS. All of this, of course, is a huge reason why I chose to move there.
I'm so excited, in fact, that I started early. It's not feasible for me to go to full time bike transportation from my old apartment, but I've taken to bringing my bike to work and using it to run errands from my office. Of course, my last two times out have been less than smooth...witness my torn up leg last week (many thanks to my Pamela's family for letting me patch myself up) and now today, getting nice and drenched in this evening's thunderstorms.
Oh well. There's something bad ass about walking around with a blood-soaked makeshift bandage (still got that haircut goddamit), or realizing there's no point in hurrying because you're gonna get drenched anyway.
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