It Goes By Quick

LT and I went to see the Chihuly exhibit at Phipps yesterday, as part of a fun day that also included a triumphant display of LT's boat-building prowess, and lots of snow. We went around the conservatory, enjoying the day, the exhibit and each other's company.

There was an older lesbian couple going through the exhibit, and we kept sort of crossing paths but not interacting with them, just ending up in the same general vicinity. It happened that we all ended up at the exit at the same time when we were done. As we were walking out, one of the women said to us, "We just want you two to know, it goes by quick. It goes by quick."

It was such a small interaction, but so impactful. Certainly there was the obvious impact which she intended; I had already been thoroughly appreciating the beauty of the day, but having her say that made me take even additional time to take everything in and soak it up, cherish it, for the rest of the day. And not just the day, but LT--being able to share it with her, being a part of her earlier success and current happiness.

The other piece of it, though, was the joy that came from that acknowledgment of us and our relationship. For those of you who are straight, it may be slightly difficult to understand why it meant so much along those lines...I will take a shot at explaining, because I want all of my friends to understand how I was touched.

A young straight couple in love, they can wander around holding hands and staring into each other's eyes, letting all the world see that feeling of adoration and joy. People say, "Awww...how sweet," and are happy for them (provided they aren't being obnoxious). For gay couples, it isn't always that easy. You can just hold hands and risk anything from uncomfortable stares to derisive comments to physical violence. Something so great as love can become a source of deep hurt when other people, including even family, use it as an excuse to be cruel to you.

LT and I are generally very comfortable as a couple. We often hold hands and hug, and even when we don't I feel like our interaction and the way we position ourselves relative to each other mark us off very definitely as a couple. At most, I generally just hope for no "incidents" as a result, that even people who are uncomfortable with us will just live and let live. So, it was an incredibly pleasant surprise to have this validation of our relationship, this acknowledgment of what we felt.

"We see your happiness and it is beautiful."

It's not a message that I get to hear spontaneously from strangers very often. Apparently when I do, it makes my day.